Good drippy cozy New York morning!
One of the things that I do to help with my recovery is to try and create experiences that remind me of home. Many of my ED behaviors come from the desire to be taken care of and comforted. Weekend mornings that look like this (rainy, slow-moving, where all I want to do is drink coffee and snuggle under my comforter) tend to be the perfect background for this.
I’m from a place where there isn’t much weather. The summers are sunny and dry, the winters are chilly and dry, the midseasons are mild and clear. When it rains, there’s a great excuse to stay in and curl up on the big red couch, light a fire, and read with a cup of tea. Perhaps sit with my sister and watch a Disney Channel movie, toes curled under us on either side of the couch. Listen to the tip-tap of the computer keyboard as my dad works on his book while I sit a room away with a National Geographic or a crossword puzzle. There’s no pressure, there’s just quiet and warmth and candles.
Mornings like that, I want to be home. So I try to give myself home in my new home, alone. I like to light candles and drink coffee, stay in my jammies, let the wet city pass me by while I give myself the gift of a slow, cozy morning. I did it. This morning was lovely. At first, I was counting time to go to the gym, but then I made the executive decision to stay in my sweatshirt and shorts and slippers and enjoy my coffee. Best decision ever. Now I’m on my way to the rehearsal of the reading I’m doing tomorrow. I am so so so excited for this reading, and I’m also so glad I gave myself the gift of this morning. Onwards and upwards, friends!