Reasons my life is confusing, the 12:09pm version

Seriously. Within one minute of each other, without any prompting, I was texted by TWO boys who would never date me but flirt ceaselessly with me.

What is with me and MEN? I feel like I’m half-dating everyone but no one wants to full-date me. Can any of you explain what is happening here?!

Text #1 (from the boy you've all heard about)

I mean, really, “I miss you!” ?

AGAIN?!

Text #2, from the boy you haven't heard about

Note to boy of Text #2:

Just because I sucked your dick onstage doesn’t mean I want… well… okay, so you’re attractive. But you’re also a dick, and you’re also reeeeaaaaalllly desperate.

So. Still confusing.

(note, I did not respond to this text. Nothing good can happen from a 12:09am “What’s up” text. We all know this, ladies.)

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