Ugh, I’m so Method.

Remember that time I told you that I was having a lot of anxiety because I was in a show where the part was written for me (with ALL the neuroses)? I mean, you probably don’t, but I was, and I was. It was a positive experience, but a kind of jolting one because I’ve never had that sort of reaction before. It’s really easy for me to play wounded, sad, all-out-there people (I joke that my type is “girls who smile a lot but are psychologically destroyed”– sound familiar?), but for some reason, the unloved ones are the hardest. Things to ponder.

ANYWAY, the point of this is that I was sent the script to the play I’ve been asked to do by my company in December. It’s an adaptation of Hedda Gabler, although unless you knew the play very well, you probably wouldn’t know. Anyway, a few things jumped off the page for me in terms of my life, right now. I’m excited, and because this is a shorter, less Chekhovian, less unloved-girl play, I’m not super nervous. In fact, I’m excited!

So, without further, ado, here are the lines that went “ding!”

LAURA. No. I’m sorry. I don’t want to be a downer. We’re shooting in an hour.
BRAD. That’s all right. It’s part of your charm.

LAURA. You think so? People on the Internet have been saying really mean stuff about me.
HENRY. About you?
LAURA. About Hannah. [the character she’s playing]

LAURA [pointing at the actress playing ELLIE who’s getting her makeup retouched]. Just look at her! They’re going to replace me… With her! With that fucking Juilliard bitch!

(yep.)

Yes, I am excited. Small cast, short show, playwright in the room, WILL be a good team, no question. Thank god there’s something on the horizon– I spent a few dismal hours making a reel tonight and was disheartened to notice that there are like two different “me’s” in the various clips. Oh well. What am I gonna do, you know? The clips span the last two years, and they’re what I have. Nothing to be done. Hopefully the close-up/far-away discrepancy in the clips will help. I honestly probably see it more than they ever would. (If you want to see the reel, I’d share it. It’s pretty mediocre, but if you personally request it, I’ll personally send it, no prob. Just not quite ready for the posting intimacy 🙂

It’s 12:30, which is way past momma’s bedtime. Talk soon. It’s good to be back in the blogging world. I would like to proudly declare that I have not binged or restricted in the last two days! I am not throwing a party (and I don’t plan to– then I’ll just get disappointed again), but I do want to thank whoever is out there listening and writing and struggling along with me and the rest– I am lucky and grateful to be here. 🙂

Night.

B.

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