A couple of updates.
L is still non-responsive, texting me again tonight (about 36 hrs after my last suggestion of hanging out) with the same answer– she needs alone time. Understood. It’s hard to transition into “normal” friendship again.
I got a callback for Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson. So did R– for the same roles. At this point, in my dreams, she’ll play Rachel Jackson and I’ll be the Female Soloist (sings 10 Little Indians, if you know the show). In other dreams, neither of us are cast.
I booked a reading at the McCarter next week (NJ’s premiere professional theatre). It’s more an educational theatre thing, but what the hey, it’s the freaking McCarter. And they’re paying for travel and food and a $40 stipend. Not bad!
I got ANOTHER CALLBACK for the Jersey show, this time in NYC. Same sides I did last time. I just kind of want this whole thing to be OVER. It went so well last time… I’m terrified I’ll blow it this time. I’m not the praying sort, but if you happen to have a spare moment on Tuesday around 4:30pm Eastern Standard Time, send a thought my way? Good lord, this is the lengthiest audition process of my life. And then watch me not get cast.
Eating is the worst. I decided I just need to let go and then go home for Easter and come back and start fresh. I just keep self-sabotaging.
HERE WE GO, NEXT WEEK! 2 callbacks, one reading, one audition for a short film, wooooork every day, vet appt for Franny, chiropractor, therapist, 2 three-hour acting classes… Give me the strength to get through– if I eat like a normal human, I guess that’s just icing on the proverbial cake.
More entries to come this week/end, I’m sure. Love to all.
“I felt, that night, on that stage, under that skull, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming?”
― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close