Officer Krupke

I need to really stop taking the Ambien before the precise moment when I intend to turn out my light and fall asleep.

I’ve been on this drug for months and months now, and it absolutely helps with the sleeping, but I’ve noticed that occasionally after taking it, if I stay awake, I feel like I enter this sort of half-state of conciousness– reduced inhibitions (less like when you’re drunk and more like when you’re binging, if that makes any sense), I’m more inclined to overeat, I make impulsive decisions online (commenting on blogs, Facebook, posting things, texting people), and just generally feel like I’m lolling around. Memory loss is also a symptom, I guess, and Ambien has been used in date-rape situations, too. I’ve experienced the memory loss in a small way, forgetting little things like what I left out on the table or what I’d emailed last night, but I haven’t done anything extreme and forgotten it.

Apparently, this is a thing. Some people get more “high” than I do on Ambien. My sister actually related to me that when she tried to take Ambien, she actually sleep-walked and sleep-ate. My nutritionist had warned me about that too, but so far, none of that for me. I do have vivid dreams, though, which I love. And despite waking up at 4/5 in the morning most days, I can fall back asleep.

On a totally other note (can you tell I’m over an hour into my Ambien dose?), my block has been cray-cray lately. A couple of nights ago, I heard three or four loud, loud pops outside my building. Usually when I hear pops I assume it’s a car backfiring or fireworks. But these were LOUD. I stayed in bed with Franny, who looked up after hearing the shots too. After a few minutes, I peered outside to see three or four police cars parked in the street in front of my building. Cops were using flashlights to search under cars and down into basements. They were there for about 20 mins, and I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I still don’t know what happened (google didn’t much help), but my sense that the pops were gunshots was confirmed by a posting on a message board for my neighborhood about hearing/seeing the same things one block below me. Scary.

Just feels like there are more around here lately. And for all the crazy gentrification going on within 100 feet of my building (new restaurants, lounges, yoga studios, specialty meats, etc), I feel like I live in legit Harlem: Harlem of summer barbeques and shootings, friendly catcalls and drug deals, Obama’s Fried Chicken and the abandoned house next door that I am sure is filled with crack addicts.

It’s also a Harlem where I spent my afternoon laying on the grass in Morningside Park alongside fewer than 3 other young people and 1 family on one huge lawn by the pond. This ain’t no Central Park, and it. was. lovely.

I really should go to sleep and if I forget all about this, make me read this: LEARN YOUR LESSON AND TAKE AMBIEN RIGHT BEFORE BED. AND I MEAN RIGHT BEFORE.

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