Tonight during the show, about halfway through, I have blocking where, while holding my huge binder, I squeeze between a pair of seats, swing my leg over the seated actors’ heads, then trip and fall onto a rehearsal block, my arm out with a paper.
I realize now that is difficult to describe and you probably can’t even imagine it. Suffice it to say, I do a lot of pratfalls in this show. Which is super fun.
Anyway, I rarely actually hurt myself in this show, despite the fact that I’m throwing myself around and doing highly physical clowning. Part of that is because I’m a dancer, so I know how to move my body in such a way that I look like I’m flying across the room when I’m actually 100% in control. The kneepads also help. 😉
So tonight, I did the pratfall as normal, but for some reason, I happened to hit my forearm (that bony elbow-shin, if you know what I mean?)
Getting hurt in a show is a funny thing. I was talking to R about it. She hit herself under the chin with the trash can lid last night, and didn’t even notice until her entire jaw ached the next day. I have walked offstage to discover that my ankle is bleeding and my shoe is filled with blood. The adrenaline and the focus makes it so that you can’t even feel anything. It’s very odd.
I could feel my "elbow-shin" hit flat on the block, and I knew I’d have a nice bruise the next day.
And I got really excited.
I admit. I LOVE getting bruised. I love knowing I’m going to have a welt under the skin, blossoming purple and green. I love looking at my legs when they’re banged up, as though I’ve been through battle and made it through. I love to probe the tender flesh and muscle and bone, feeling that pain deeply rush through the nerve endings and ache dully, throbbing. I love getting bruises, having bruises, and feeling my bruises.
Is that weird? Am I crazy?
I don’t feel this way about cuts. I guess I feel the same about sore muscles– I DID something, and now I can feel it– but bruises seem like a weird thing to love.
This one isn’t even that good, but I got so excited when I saw it begin to form tonight. Do any of you have this weird obsession? Or anything similar? Am I just totally fucked
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