Detox.

533168_540376390603_1834508623_nOkay.

It’s time. I’m not getting any less obsessive, and I’m not feeling any better. It’s time to make a change.

I’m detoxing from A’s ex. I’ve cleared my search histories so her Facebook, blog, and Instagram don’t pop up. My laptop, iPad, and iPhone are clean.

She’s a part of our relationship, and she’s a part of what I look at every day, and it’s not good. She doesn’t even live here anymore. She’s living with someone else in the South. Her life depresses me. SHE depresses me. I don’t like her. I feel sorry for her, which is worse. And none of that makes me feel good about me.

So here we go. Time to focus on the here and now. No more stalking. No more self-flagellation (because that’s what this is– self-harm via feeling less-than this girl who he was going to marry, this girl who lived here and slept in this bed, this girl who was with him four years).

I’ll let you know how it goes.

 

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2 thoughts on “Detox.

  1. YES! PURGE THAT SHIZ!!

    I know now that I am free of a lot of ED behavior I realize that I purged a lot food when what I really needed to do was purge other things like habits, stress..etc. I am so happy to have more coping arsenal.
    Anyways.

    It will be hard to brake the habit but it only lasts a few days and I am sure she will be forgotten.

    • Yes, girl YES! I love this: “I purged a lot of food when what I really needed to do was purge other things like habits, stress, etc.”

      Preach.

      By the way, I already feel better. 🙂

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